What is your relationship with God like?

Written by Matthew Griffioen, Free Reformed Church of Launceston, Tasmania, Australia

A little while ago, I realised how central this question is to the Christian’s life. The more I think about it, the more I realise how important it is. It’s been said that Christianity is not a religion but a relationship – it’s not built on ceremonies, traditions or activities of any sort, but built on a personal relationship with God. 

Maybe you’re able to say that you’re really happy with your relationship with God at the moment. You feel close to Him, see Him at work in your life, and have your life built around Him. Praise God for His work in your life and may you continue to encourage others in their walk! On the other hand, maybe you’ve never really felt a personal relationship with God. You feel that the Bible is all about rules: things you can and can’t do. For you, doing ‘Christian things’ is more of a duty than a passion. Or, maybe you believe in scripture and want to serve God, but He doesn’t really feel like your Father. Or you might feel as if you don’t know God in a personal way. This article will examine only a few aspects of this topic. This article will discuss: 

1. What is the importance of a right relationship with God?
2. What is a relationship with God supposed to look like?
3. What are some ways to help grow my relationship with God?

What is the importance of a right relationship with God?

The importance of growing a right relationship with God is evident throughout scripture. The whole bible is about our need for Jesus to make us right with God again in a relationship of fellowship. This relationship is more than just knowing about God or believing He exists. As James says in 2:19: “even the demons believe – and shudder!”. It says in Matthew 7:21: “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” This verse highlights the difference between knowing that God exists or doing things in God’s name and having a genuine relationship with him which shows itself in service. Jesus didn’t come to institute traditions and rules, but to restore man to a right relationship with God. We know that true faith involves personal assent along with knowledge and confidence of God and His promises (HC.Q/A.21). The bible is full of commands to love Him, and Jesus even calls this the summary of the law (Matt 22:37-38). Jesus came to earth to bring the kingdom of God, by which he restored the relationship between man and God.  Indeed, that we call Him ‘Father’ is no small thing. He has called us to be His children and heirs of His kingdom. All this to say – a personal relationship with God is important not only because he has commanded it of us, but also because it is a mark of true faith. 

What is a relationship with God supposed to look like?

So, I get that having a relationship with God is important, but what do I do now? What are we aiming for? What is this supposed to look like?

A perfect example of a right relationship with God is given to us in the life of Jesus. In Christ we can see exactly what God wants from us in our walk with Him. The following list is by no means exhaustive, but I have chosen only two simple but challenging aspects of a healthy relationship with God as exemplified by Jesus. Firstly, what is a relationship without communication? Healthy relationships require interactions and communication. A relationship with God is no different. Thus, we address the two most important parts of our relationship with God. Yep, you guessed it – it’s reading the bible and praying. When we read the bible, God talks to us. He tells us who He is, what He’s done, what He wants for us and how much He loves us. Prayer is us talking to God and the Heidelberg Catechism calls this the most important part of our thankfulness (HC.Q/A.116). A relationship with God will suffocate without prayer just as a friendship dies if you never chat or see each other. Prayer teaches us humility, patience and dependence upon God. How is your communication with God? Are you insincerely praying as part of a routine, or reading the bible then forgetting five minutes later what you just read? Communication with our close friends is often genuine and heartfelt, but I suspect that these things are often lacking in our devotions. 

Perhaps the greatest element in the relationship between Jesus and God was love. It was out of love that Christ was obedient, for in John 14:31 he says “but I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father”. Similarly, we show Christ we love him when we obey him, as in John 14:15, where Jesus says: “if you love me, keep my commandments”. When we love our sin, we actively rebel against God. Our relationship with God suffers when we hold onto our sin. Yet we remember that “we love because [God] first loved us” (1 John 4:19), for we did not choose God, but He chose us. How thankful should we be that in His mercy He has brought to Himself believers elected for eternal life! When you contemplate the gospel – for it is most certainly ‘good news’ – do you get excited? When you hear about your new life in Christ, God’s mercy towards sinners and the love of Christ to suffer so much for you, are you not humbled and so thankful to God? Do you not rejoice and praise Him? Do you not love Him for this gospel that is totally undeserved? We can sometimes be sceptical of emotions, perhaps suspicious of ‘getting carried away’. Yet to remain indifferent or unmoved by the gospel makes me question whether the gospel is understood at all! Yes, emotions can be deceiving. Yes, to build a relationship with God on emotions is extremely dangerous to say the least. However, it is absurd to be in a relationship with God where there is no enthusiasm, joy or love for Him. 

What are some ways to help grow my relationship with God?

In saying this, I do not mean to imply that our relationship with God is entirely up to us, for it is God who regenerates the hearts of His people. Yet through the Holy Spirit’s enabling, we have some responsibility for our sanctification – that is, becoming more holy and Christlike. To live perfectly in a right relationship with God requires a re-assessment of lifestyle and priorities, and it’s not always easy to know where to start. So here are a few things that may assist in growing your relationship with God. Some of these will be no-brainers, some might be new, and there are most definitely more that are not on this list. 

We mentioned before the importance of reading the bible and praying. This cannot be overstated. Nevertheless, it continues to be one that is so easy to fall short with. Thoughtless routines and impersonal words are just two of the many traps we can fall into. That’s why talking about godly things with others is so important. This is a great way to make God present in your life and you grow from the interactions with others, too. Think about it; if your faith is important to you, why would you not talk about it with others. It also provides the opportunity to learn much from those who are more mature than we are, and the chances are high that things that you struggle against now are the same struggles that have been overcome by others. It’s easy enough to talk about our hobbies or our job or studies, so let’s continue to work towards building a culture where we love talking about God to those around us. Talking about God is one way to make your life about Him, but there are many ways to do this. This doesn’t mean everyone has to be a minister, or lead bible study, but that each Christian exists to glorify God. Breaking out of routine and praying at any time is an awesome reminder that God is at work in the world and in us. Work, hobbies, friends and lifestyle should all be God-honouring. 

In my (limited) experience, pet sins are often a barrier to having a good relationship with God. These are sins we know about but refuse to get rid of them for one reason or another. Perhaps addiction, fear of social shame, or simply a refusal to put in the effort are common reasons why we tend to keep pursuing these sins. When we come to God in prayer, asking for forgiveness can seem insincere, and knowing that we are actively disobeying the one to whom we pray can leave us feeling uneasy. We distance ourselves from God because every time we pray, we are confronted with the reality that God wants us to stop, and we want to keep going. We easily deceive ourselves into thinking that if we don’t pray, we won’t have to deal with our sin. Praying for God’s help to hate our sin is a great strategy, but after a while this too can feel dishonest. God has blessed us with a church community that is able to provide encouragement, and another beneficial strategy is to seek an accountability partner and work together. As long as we are alive in this world we will be battling against sin, but we can be comforted that the Bible is clear that forgiveness is found through Christ to those who repent of their sins. 

Sometimes Christians will point out the distinction between head and heart – knowledge and feelings. Yet there is something that trumps both head and heart: relationship. A relationship cannot exist without knowledge of the person, and it grows with an understanding of who that person is. However, even combined, knowledge and passion are not equal to a relationship. For example, you might know everything about your favourite athlete or sports team, be really passionate about them winning, but still not have a relationship with them. 

When we have a relationship with God, we are involved in the most amazing thing that has ever happened; what we were created to do. We can be close to the maker of the universe, the King of kings, Lord of lords, the Triune God – and we get to call him our Father. When we are in a relationship with God, we try to make our life about Him. We communicate with Him through prayer and reading His word, we do our best to obey Him, and we love Him. If we have a right relationship with God, these things will follow, for from this relationship flows love, obedience, and a desire to learn more about our heavenly Father. Our focus ought to be not first on fine points of doctrine, church order or going to bible study, but on building a relationship with God through these and other means. It is indeed true that Christianity is first and foremost a relationship, not a religion. 

So, what is your relationship with God like? 

I hope and pray that you think about this question. Ask others this and learn from each other, encouraging one another. Most importantly, however, see what God has to say about this in His word.

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